Sunday, July 08, 2012
Living Dead in Dallas: Chapter 7 - There Ain't No Party Like a Vamp House Party
Sookie wakes up and decides that she needs to do something. I have no idea what she needs to do, but she starts wandering around the hotel, and some dude that works there tells her that she should really stop hanging around vampires, because she looks like shit. She corrects him and tells him it was humans that fucked her up. She gets a cab to take her to the Fellowship church, you know, because it holds so many great memories for her. She looks around the parking lot and starts thinking about Gabe and whether or not he had a family. I guess it really doesn't matter anymore, and then thinks about what an asshole Gabe was. We find out that Sookie went back to watch Godfrey die, and she starts crying because he's about to flake away. Then she goes back to the hotel. It's all very...not touching at all. Trust me when I say that True Blood did a much better job of having Godfrey die and making it somewhat of a tear jerker. She then goes back to sleep. So, yeah, she just woke up to watch a vampire die. Congratulations on being an idiot.
Bill wakes her up later by nursing her ta-tas. Then they screw. She makes Bill do all the work. She must be super hot when she's all beaten up. Wait, what am I saying? She's always super hot, so disregard previous statement. Once Bill's done taking care of business, they start talking about how they have to see Stan to let him know exactly what went down the night before. We finally get a description of what Sookie is wearing.
A taupe dress and sandals. Oh, and Bill puts in her earrings because she can't raise her arms because of her beat-down.
Sookie and Bill get to Stan's and there's a vamp welcome-back-Farrell party going on. Farrell, of course, finds Sookie sexy for a chick, and says that if he were at all into women, he'd be giving her all his lovin'. They ask where Stan is and they're told he's in the dining room. They then ask where Isabel is, and it turns out she's being punished for being a bad, bad vampire. Sookie and Bill go into the dining room and Sookie thinks again about how much of a nerd Stan is...or looks like. I guess she's never heard of hipsters. But then, she's probably never heard of Prada either. **Cough - Walmart - cough**
Sookie tells Stan everything that happened at the Fellowship, and starts grinning her creepy grin. Stan calls her on it, and Bill tells her she does it because she's an artard. Well, not really, but I can read between the lines. Sookie puts her hair up in a ponytail (why, I'm not sure), and uses an elastic that Bill carries for her in his pocket. Seriously, ladies, have you ever dated a guy who carries your hair accessories in his pocket? I haven't. Maybe I've been dating the wrong kind of guys. For some reason, they all start to cry about Godfrey.
Sookie brings up the fact that if she'd found out that the traitor was a human, that they'd be handing that human over to the police, and Stan says that Hugo and Isabel are together, and Sookie starts to whine about how Stan's not keeping his word. Stan, as an upstanding type of vamp, decides to lead Sookie to where Hugo is being kept. They walk down the hallway, where apparently people/vampires are having all kinds of raunchy sex, and Sookie is "uncomfortable". Wow, for someone who gets woken up by a vampire sucking on her boobs, she's pretty uptight.
Hugo is chained to a wall opposite Isabel, and he's all kinds of naked. Stan tells her the rules of the room - Isabel can't feed off Hugo, and Hugo can't have sex with Isabel. Stan says this is their punishment for a few months. Then he asks Sookie what illegal deeds Hugo did that they can report to the police. Basically, he's done nothing illegal, and Sookie agrees that Stan's punishment seems reasonable.
Sookie goes through her moral compass. Like how she's such a whore because she's fucking Bill when they're not married, and how she lies to her friends. Sookie thinks about this while Bill lives it up at the party (what a fucking party-pooper Sookie is...sigh). Then she decides to watch Bill interact with other vampires. Some chick named Trudi sits beside her, and Sookie critiques her outfit (ummmm, ok). Trudi has: red spikey hair, pierced nose and tongue, goth makeup, low rise jeans and a crop top. Sookie's seems surprised to learn that Trudi is intelligent. Sookie, not everyone is as simple and stupid as you are. If I saw you wearing the outfit Harris described, I'd think you were somewhat left behind, and after listening to you, I'd be pretty sure of it. Sookie and Trudi talk about sex with vampires - or at least, Trudi does. Sookie leaves, because you know...there are just some things you don't do in public. Killing = okay. Talking about sex = not okay.
Eric comes up to talk to her after Sookie ditches Trudi, and they chat about boring stuff for a while. Eric assures Sookie that she was just on loan to the Dallas vampire clan, and that she's still his property. Sookie asks if Stan knows who Eric really is, and Eric says probably. Eric compliments Sookie on her shit-tastic outfit and notes she has nothing underneath. Once again I say...what?? If her tits are as big as Harris constantly reiterates, then as a woman with larger boobs, they must be hanging pretty low. Does Harris not know at all what happens to big boobs when they're bra-less? Not pretty. Eric tells Sookie that if she left Bill because she wanted to, Bill couldn't do anything about it. Oh, and Sookie compares Eric to fungus. Smart, Sookie...really smart.
All of a sudden, Sookie can "hear" something coming from outside. She yells "Hit the floor!" and all the vamps hit the floor...just as the gunfire starts. But not the humans...silly humans.
Overview: Sookie watches Godfrey die. Sookie and Bill fuck (it's been a couple chapters - poor Sookie). Sookie and Bill go to Stan's to give the low down on the night before and find out what's the happs with Hugo. Eric hits on Sookie, and she shoots him down because she's a fucking moron. Someone ambushes Stan's and all the humans (maybe...and except Sookie) die.