Saturday, October 27, 2012
Club Dead: Chapter 3 - Kings, Kidnapping, and Killing
Thank you, my anonymous commenter, for getting my arse in gear to write another chapter summary!!
Sookie is in bed, with no plans on getting out of it - even when her doorbell rings. It's noted that she now sleeps in Gram's room, and that Bill has made a little dark place for himself for when he stays over. She decides that it's time to get up, and goes to look in his hole. His computer et al are in there, and she's all gooshy over the trust he has in her. She nods to herself (why, I don't know), and hides the trapdoor to the hole over and puts some summer shit over it. Then she goes back to bed. When she wakes up again, she realises that Bill is in bed with her, because there's cold arms around her. Ya, dumbass, it's Bill. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise immediately that it's Eric, which she eventually does. He tells her she stinks (awesome!) and that she should go take a shower. Eric tells her he needs to talk to her. She's all pissy and thinks about revoking her invitation into her house from him, but rethinks it when she figures out that if something happened and someone was there to kill her, Eric wouldn't be able to save her.
After her shower, she puts on (seriously) a red and green sweater with reindeer on it.
Sexy shit. She mourns the fact that Bill isn't there to brush her hair for her (sigh), as well as the fact that she's not sunbaked anymore, but thankfully because of fake bakes, she still has some colour. Then she goes on about how she loves summer. Then she thinks about how she thought that Bill would cuddle her up during the winter cold and yells "you bastard". You know, because he's missing and isn't there to be her dead old boyfriend.
She comes out from her post-shower ritual of swearing about Bill and throwing a brush and Eric asks if Pam and Chow can come into her house. She admits them in, and we get a recap about how Sookie lives in Gran's house and Jason lives in her old parents' house. She goes on about how old the house is, and once again, I could give a fuck.
Sookie gets some True Blood out for her guests, and then contemplates Chow. It's pointed out that he's Asian and has some tats, and blah blah blah. Then she contemplates Pam, who is wearing white knit pants and a blue sweater (not worth having a picture, sorry guys). They all discuss Bill, and Eric tells Sookie that Bill has been kidnapped. They don't know who kidnapped Bill, but some humans from Mississippi are witnesses. They're not giving up any info, and Sookie finds out that there is a king of Mississippi. She thinks that's funny, because she does not have a good sense of humour. Also, she remembers that there's a queen of Louisiana. She asks Eric if he's the king of Louisiana, and he replies that he's the sheriff of Area 5 (so we now find out Eric's title). This makes Dumbass cry because she laughs so hard. Dumbass. Eric explains how the US is divided into territories and kingdoms (or vice versa). Russell Edgington is the king for Mississippi, ordered the kidnapping of Bill, and he's the guy they have to go to if they want any real information about where Bill is. Before they go that route, Eric wants her to use her telepathic powers on the humans. Sookie wants to know what's going on, so Pam tells her:
- Betty Jo (who is second in command from Russell) was supposed to take a flight to St. Louis;
- Humans took Bill's coffin instead;
- The humans left Bill at Anubis Airlines unguarded;
- Someone took Bill's coffin.
Sookie has doubt that someone could over-ride the airline's security. The papers for Bill's coffin may have been mixed up with Betty Jo's, who was supposed to be making trade agreements with Missouri. Sookie wonders why they would take Bill, and Eric mentions Bill's little top secret project, and asks Sookie what she knows, which is really nothing, of course. Eric doesn't believe that Sookie doesn't know anything, to which she replies bitchily that Bill is an almighty vampire and she a mere human, and why the fuck would he tell her anything. Eric becomes authoritative and says that she better be telling him the truth, or there will be T-R-O-U-B-L-E. In the form of torture, which he doesn't want to do because he might break her and she'd be useless to him (dude, she's already useless...just saying). Eric lets it slip that the project that Bill was working on was behind his back, and Sookie has an "uh-oh" moment. Then she blames Bill for putting her in this situation (what situation? Of not knowing anything? Of having 3 vampire visitors? Being in danger? She does that just fine on her own). So, what does she do? She starts crying. Pam (loves her!!) says "She's leaking again". Pam wants Sookie to be informed of everything that's going on, to which Eric and Chow are doubtful. Eric tells Chow and Pam to go outside. Sookie gets pissy that they leave their unrinsed bottles on her table. For someone who is so keen on manners, I wouldn't expect my guests to take bottles or glasses to the sink and rinse them. Douche.
Sookie contemplates fainting but Eric tells her to knock that shit off. He tells her that he doesn't want her to be scared of him, because he likes her. He also wants to fuck her. Hey, at least he's straight-up about it. Sookie notes his fangs are out, so he probably wants to do her right now. Sookie asks if he plans on torturing her. He says no. Then Eric tells Sookie the situation.
Turns out that Bill was summoned to Mississippi by a woman vampire, Lorena, who had been seriously involved with Bill for years. She has some kind of power over Bill (I do know what it is, but I'll keep it a secret for those of you who don't know), but even then Bill wanted to make sure Sookie was looked after, financially. Sookie takes this as an insult (of course she does, dumbass). Eric didn't want to tell Sookie this, but claims Pam forced his hand. Eric tells her that her task has her life, Bill's life, Eric's life and probably others in Sookie's hands. Oh, dude, good luck with having that artard in charge of making sure shit happens. Eric tells Sookie that she won't be going into this alone, that he's hired a werewolf to be her bodyguard. Sookie and the werewolf will go around Jackson and will scan the brains of the humans around Russell's kingdom. Eric also notes that the guys who took Sookie were probably from Jackson and were werewolves as well. Sookie snarkily says that instead of her, they should have taken Lorena, to which Eric replies they may already have Lorena, and it may have been Lorena who betrayed Bill. Eric also wonders aloud why Lorena was in Mississippi and talks about how they could or would handle it, like kidnapping someone in return, which would result in a war. Eric tells Sookie that they'll get Bill back, and if she wants, they (Sookie and Bill) can be together again and reassures Sookie that he (Eric) is looking out for her.
Sookie tries to break down what Eric has told her - that Bill was working on a project for the queen of Louisiana (I didn't get that, maybe I'll quickly re-read what I skimmed over) and can barely restrain herself from laughing about the queen thing again (fucking dumbass) and that Eric had no idea about the project.
Okay, just quickly re-read, and it mentions nothing in this chapter about Bill doing anything for the queen, but since it's been so long, it may have been mentioned in another chapter, and I've since forgotten. Anyhow on with the story.
Eric tells Sookie that the queen told him that Bill was working on something, but that the queen doesn't know Bill is missing. Sookie asks why, and Eric says that the vamps in his area would be severely punished. Then he rubs his face on her cheek. Um, where the fuck did that come from? Sookie pushes and wants to know what the queen will do, but Eric won't tell her. So, then Sookie wants to know what she gets out of this deal. Eric say she'd get Bill back, and wouldn't that be enough? Haha, Eric! Way to stick it to her! Sookie, being the greedy bitch she is, says that's not enough, and that she wants Eric to kill Lorena (get rid of her competition, so to speak). Eric agrees, but asks if Lorena was human, would she still be asking Eric to do this. Sookie says no, if Lorena was human, she'd kill the bitch herself.
Eric and the other vamps leave, and Sookie contemplates her new bad temper, and blames it on her interactions with vampires. Yeah, Sook, I'm kind of thinking you were a full time bitch before they came on the scene. In fact, I'm sure of it.
Overview: Sookie finds Bill's computer in her closet. Eric and his entourage come over and tell Sookie that she's about to find herself on her way to Mississippi to find Bill, who has been kidnapped on the orders of the King of Mississippi. Sookie blames her cuntishness on the vampires. I call bullsht.