Sunday, January 13, 2013

Club Dead: Chapter 6 - Most Useless Chapter Ever...

Sookie and Alcide return to Alcide's place, and Sookie can hardly wait to get her clothes off. Alcide helps her with her zipper, and naturally it turns her on. As they gaze adoringly into each other's eyes, they both agree that it's not the best time to get it on. Alcide kisses her anyhow, and Sookie gets all worked up, you know, because she's never had sex with a live guy. But she manages to push herself away from Alcide. I'm sure if he threw her a $20, he'd at least get a bj since she's all hookered out anyhow. Alcide is turned on by Sookie's huge boobs, and they both agree that when the timing is better, they'll bump uglies. Sookie hangs up her slutty dress, and bemoans the fact that there are greasy fingerprints on it. Um...say what? So naturally the people at the bar were so greasy, it was dripping off their fingers? Or maybe they stopped off at KFC at the end of the night. She puts on her little pink nighty and reads her romance novel for a while. Which tells me eversomuch about her mentality. Harris...reading a romance novel is like killing your brain cells. The book gets her worked up, but I honestly think that a slight breeze would turn on Hooker Sookie at this point. 

Sookie hears a knock at the window and screams. It's Eric. Alcide runs in to save Sookie, but damn, dude, it's just Eric. Alcide is standing there in his pyjama pants, and Sookie gets wet again. Alcide invites Eric in and Eric asks what Sookie's found out. She tells him that vamps do have Bill and that they're torturing Bill. They figure that Bill will also be killed. Eric instructs Sookie to sit with Russell Edgington the next night. Alcide rescinds his invitation into his house, and Eric is forced out. Sookie, after reading Alcide's mind, tells him that not every man in the world is in love with her. Trust me, Sook, there's more than men that don't love you. 

When Sookie wakes up the next day, Alcide has already left. Sookie dismisses her laziness by telling herself she sleeps late because she works nights. Um, Sook? Alcide went to bed at the same time you did, and he still managed to get up at a decent time. After watching the news (Harris says CNN but I can see Sookie being a Fox News fan), she's bored. You know, because she doesn't feel comfortable having private time and doesn't seem to like herself very much. I rarely find myself bored, but maybe that's because I'm not an artard. So she cleans. Way to let your host know you think he lives like a pig. Then she goes for a walk and thinks about Bill. She gets a little bitchy (surprise) because Bill won't be spending Christmas with her. While she's walking outside Janice's salon (which she calls a "shop"...), Janice calls her in. Sookie mentions to Janice that Alcide left a note as to what he was doing that day, and you'd think he'd proposed to her or something. Sookie tells Janice a bit about the night before, and a woman in the salon is a bit of a bitch about Debbie and the dude she's marrying. The same woman mentions that Debbie is into "weird stuff", like devil worship and witchcraft. Janice and Sookie feel superior that they're not into that sort of thing. Okay, Sookie. You feel superior all you want, with a vampire boyfriend, because vampires are so less evil than witches. 

Janice asks Sookie about her wardrobe for the evening, and Sookie says she's wearing beige (quite a difference from hooker red), and Janice tells her that she needs her nails redone to go with the new dress. Janice asks what Sookie's profession is, and tells Sookie that Debbie is a legal assistant. Sookie starts thinking about how Debbie has a better education than she does. Um, getting a legal assistant diploma is like taking a shit. It takes a minute effort, and you usually end up with...well...shit lol. Sookie gives herself the excuse that her telepathy made school hard. I would have thought it would have been easier, since you would know who the smart kids are and get the answers from them. But since Sookie's such a saint, she would never do something like that. But she did "excel" at homework. Who the hell excels at homework? Um, looking up answers and writing essays? Good for you, Sookie...good for you. 

The chapter ends with Sookie regretting that she's there to look for Bill instead of really being with Alcide. Shortest chapter ever, I think, and most boring. 

Overview:  Sookie gets turned on by Alcide and he wants to fuck her in return, but they don't. Eric shows up and gets the down low on what's happening with Bill. Sookie gets her nails redone and dreams about being part of Alcide's family. Blah.


  1. How can someone be bad at school but good at homework? In highschool isn't 90% of the grade homework? the other 10% for just showing up...
    glad you're back

    1. Thanks :)

      I remember tests being having the most weight in school, but that was a while least in high school. Maybe she did really well colouring inside the lines, muahahaha.